


Unspoken But Not Forgotten

by Fighting4Fandoms



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Closeted Character, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Spoilers, poor richie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting4Fandoms/pseuds/Fighting4Fandoms
Summary: R + EDoes anything more need to be said?(Major spoilers)





	Unspoken But Not Forgotten

When all is said and done, it is easy enough to admit that love is a strange thing. The whole concept can sometimes be a little hard to swallow and if that isn't enough, it's even harder when you can't open the door to your own closet. 

For Richie Tozier, deep down he knew that he felt something for Eddie Kaspbrak, even from an early enough age, he just didn't know if it was the feeling that he believed was true... but it was. Only he realized it when it was too late, when everything was a bit too much. 

Even years later, sometimes when he was in bed with his own thoughts, he could remember the first time he put his knife to the wood of the Kissing Bridge and carved into its skin. Carved his own initial, followed by his. He didn't know if Eddie ever found them but it was his own little secret, one that he kept very close to his chest. 

Richie could still feel Eddie's blood on his face, staining it permanently and that was the last time he ever saw Eddie's face, the last time he felt his arms around his small body. Eddie had always been small, even when they were kids. Some days, when it got really bad, tears pricked his eyes and he didn't know if it was his tears falling down his face or blood instead. He had seen enough blood to last him a last time but he had to contemplate as to whether Eddie could have been saved... 

He didn't know. 

He could remember the day that he figured out his feelings for Eddie which made him wonder what made Eddie Kaspbrak so special compared to anyone else. Richie would make jokes about girls and not being a virgin but it was mostly to cover up his truth, the secret that he would take to the grave. He had heard about what happened to people like him, to people who weren't afraid to speak their truth but what was the point? There was no point in telling the truth now because the person that he wanted to grow old with... was dead. 

Eddie was only in his dreams now and nightmares. Dreams were the rarity whereas he kept reliving Eddie's death over and over and over again, it was like a broken record. Eddie being stabbed through the chest, his blood spraying on Richie's face. 

*

One night, a couple years after Eddie's death, Richie laid curled up in his bed in his home. He lived alone because it was simpler that way. Richie never had eyes on anyone else and he didn't mind being on his own, on a good day it just meant that he could sleep the whole night through. It wasn't always easy but it wasn't always overly difficult either. 

He rubbed his face and stared into the distance though his vision was slightly blurred. Words inside of his head kept slurring together, he had received his script for the next show, it was laid across the bedside table. 

_"Ah, fucking knew it was scripted!" _

Richie laughed quietly under his breath. Only Eddie would know that everything was written for him when he went on stage. Eddie knew him better than others did but he was never told Richie's greatest secret only because Richie was so afraid of rejection, of Eddie rejecting him and throwing him to the side. He would rather stay as friends if that meant Eddie would still talk to him. 

Richie had learnt that people- that people like him were shunned. Thrown away. Thrown away like trash. 

*  
Once a year, the Losers would gather in Derry, by the quarry and talk. Or even sit in silence if they were too sad to speak. Both Eddie and Stanley were remembered, Richie though... You could see that he was upset. He wouldn't cry but he would just gaze off into the distant and not all of his friends quite understood the true reason behind his fallen tears, oblivious really. 

Then they'd leave. 

They'd say their goodbyes and continue to go about their lives. On the second anniversary, Richie walked along the Kissing Bridge from start to end. It wasn't like he had much to rush back to. 

R + E was recarved as though it was a piece of art but that wasn't the only thing that Richie spotted. Towards the end of the Kissing Bridge where his parked car stood, Richie placed a hand over his mouth, tears pricking his eyes once more. 

It's true when they say that 'love hurts' because it does. The feeling that you experience when your heart gets broken... it's too painful to bear but, even though the pain remains, it doesn't leave. It stays there, deep within your soul until the time comes you get to see those who you love more than anything in the world once more. It's nice to believe that soulmates exist and to Richie... maybe they did. Richie had never found anyone else in the world that he loved as much as he loved Eddie. 

So when he saw that carving on the wood, one that he was ashamed that he had never spotted before. He felt his heart somehow become whole again, only for a short while... he placed one hand on the carving and the other on his chest to ease his painfully beating heart. 

Maybe one day he and Eddie would be together again but until that day arrives he has to continue living for the man who saved him... no matter how much it pained him to do so because it's true what they say. Love is strange and love hurts... like a bitch. 

E + R 

_When the sun rises over the blue and green_

_only then can you be seen,_

_Richie and Eddie, _

_Eddie and Richie, _

_Two halves that create a whole because that's all that we can be in the end. _

_Whole. _


End file.
